Don’t let someone else idea of beauty, define you or yours! 



You have to “be your own kind of beauty”  A printed quote that I found on a beautiful sticky wall art poster, at the dollar store. I couldn’t wait to plaster it over my children’s bedroom doors.  I am thinking about this because my family and I have been keeping up with, as my kids put it “AGT” America’s Got Talent. I’m beginning to hate acronyms!

On the show, the hostess “Tyra Banks,” the judges ‘Wendy and Mel B.” all seem to have an undeclared competition to out dress or should I say under-dress one another.

As I watched them each week, it dawned on me that they are putting forth a kind of beauty. A beauty defined by them, displayed to millions, through the glittering lights of our HD TV sets. It makes me wonder how much my impressionable daughters and visually impressed sons are being shaped by these women’s so very public presentation of beauty.

I believe that they all have their own kind of beauty, but so often the world impresses upon our psyche that this beauty needs to be an all-encompassing way of seeing beauty.

So much so, that it causes young girl’s like my daughters to self-examine the very skin that they have been blessed with.  One of them somehow have developed a distaste for her own God-given, gorgeous features. What is this bewitchment?

It also affects us in our everyday existence as we walk through this life. This model of beauty even shapes the viewing eyes of the professionals within our world.

Like the time I brought my then, young handsome son to the dentist for a routine cleaning. Only to have the technician ask me to wait because the orthodontist wanted to speak with me. Of course, I waited patiently, all of the time this feeling of foreboding encapsulated my being, and rightly so.

For this professional woman came out to advise me, that my son needed to have the structure of his jaw, his face, restructured. Out loud I exclaimed, “What!” Wait a minute, come again! Now I understood the feeling of imminent danger that I was experiencing.  Yet, I remained calm and controlled. “Why?” was my one-word response.

This obviously, took her by surprise, because she stumbled all over her words. This Latino, professional, woman orthodontist, and probably someone’s mother. Says to me ‘Uhm, well, no one ever asked me that before! And again, but only in thought this time, I exclaimed “What?” For all I could do at the moment was stare blankly at her.

I asked her again, “Why should I have my son’s jaw broken, teeth removed, and then his jaw reset?” “I mean if I don’t do this, will it affect his ability to breath, speak, or swallow?” “Will it cause him, some sort of speech impediment in his future life?” “Why should I do this?”

This Americanized, media educated, orthodontist, turned beauty consultant, tells me it is for “cosmetic reasons”!
You mean to tell me, that you are advising me to have such a drastic, surgical procedure done to my young, tall, handsome son, for cosmetic reasons?

That day, I thought that I would lose my mind. I was totally dumbfounded hearing this suggestion coming from this round-faced Latino woman. I only mention her ethnicity, because my son’s face was similarly shaped like hers. Yet, she was advising me to transform him into a more European look. Suggesting that my son’s jaw was too wide, and should be narrowed. Just like the average face we see every time we watch TV. 

This is the beauty that she wanted me to alter 


He is my kind of beauty 

You know, as I recall this incident, it confirms my belief that we, in fact, have a consciousness, shaped by the constant lies and false opinion from the world about what we should look like. This is the lie that caused a handsome “Micheal Jackson’, or a beautiful “Lil Kim” to change their appearances. This is the nonsense that makes young girls hate themselves and young boys to do idiotic things for societal inclusion.

Although, it seems that we have to constantly fight against these types of attacks upon our being. There really was the proverbial silver lining to be found as we watched the AGT show.

Thankfully, there appeared a wonderful gift from God for all viewers to behold. Her name was Kechi. 

I don’t know if it was the intentions of the host to let us behold this particular kind of beauty on purpose or if it was just divinely appointed. Whichever way it happened through her God showed us His example of Natural Beauty! I am glad that this girl had a chance to amaze us all, especially my children.